Category: Blog

This alternate day off thing is really messing with my brain because it’s impossible to get into a routine of any kind. My sleep cycle has gone for an absolute toss, my mood to go for classes is non-existent (and plenty of exit routes in terms of work are available). It’s very, very difficult to stay motivated, because all I want to do is read books, watch TV, and lie down in the comfort of my bed. So much so, that I have spent an entire morning worth of this holiday doing absolutely, positively nothing. I woke up and used my phone a few times. I also silenced my roommate’s alarms and engaged in some conversation about how we both feel like doing nothing this morning. And so, we woke up only in the afternoon – beginning the day at 12:30 as if it was 7:30. What fun.

The issue with this alternate day class system is the fact that it’s made me question what my ideal work week would be like. I’ve always advocated a four-day work-week in my head. The French system is something that appeals to me – and any work culture which does not require or expect you to take work back home, or be online post a reasonable 6/7pm hour, is one that I’m thoroughly appreciative of, especially where it is able to produce the same kind of results on the business front. This is largely because I feel like it allows people to live a healthier all-round life, in terms of their ability to deveolp outside the workspace. In my four day week, I’d allow either Wednesdays off mandatorily, or alternatively, allow employees to take days off on a rotational basis, giving everyone fair chance to get a long weekend in.

However, this alternate day system makes me question the possibility of genuinely giving Wednesdays off. I’m wondering whether it’s prohibitive in terms of helping people get into good schedules.

But then again, if a new generation starts off with Wednesdays off (i.e., my batchmates & people graduating with me), maybe our schedules will work themselves around the fact that we have a mid-week holiday.

What fun that’ll be if it ever materializes.

Today, my time as the Secretary of the Debating Society at my University came to an end. I had a stint of a little more than one year, supported by one of my closest friends and two regular readers of this blog. It’s been the wildest ride. I didn’t really anticipate any of what the role would give me when I found out that I had been elected (rather unexpectedly), because honestly, I wasn’t in the country, or in a network zone (I was in the jungle in Kenya) when the elections happened. But I have, honestly, learnt a lot in the last one year: about myself and the way I conduct myself. Moreover, I have learnt where I stand on how to cultivate cultures in spaces. I’m grateful the people I worked with gave me the space and helped me execute what ideas I came up with. I also realize, after typing all this that we came up with more ideas as a collective than I did as an individual, and we all ended up trying to execute these to the best of our ability. Irrespective of whether they worked or not, a new batch of kids seem to care about the activity, which I think is nice.

After elections concluded, I unwinded for the rest of the day by reading, binge-watching FRIENDS, and then watching two movies back-to-back. The second movie I watched was Spotlight, a movie I’ve watched before only on flights. I watched it once on an Emirates flight from Bangalore to Dubai, and then on an Etihad flight from Abu Dhabi to Washington. I know this is an extremely privileged statement.

But watching the movie on my laptop made me realize how related to those flights my memory of the movie had been. All I could think about while watching it this time around was what I experienced on the flight when I was watching the movie for the first and second time. I remember going to pee at a specific time in the movie. I remember my food being served at a particular time. I remember a passenger announcement disrupting one of the most gripping scenes in the movie.

Spotlight is ridiculously good. I’d recommend.

I also found this reading list: https://www.bustle.com/articles/141339-if-you-hope-spotlight-wins-best-picture-here-are-11-books-youll-be-obsessed-with

Hello.

Important: https://www.justice.gov/storage/report.pdf

My mum’s been away for a while now (I think four days, or five?) – she’s off on a Vipassana course. I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about this before, so bear with me. My mother discovered Vipassana almost one year ago now, and her first course was in May 2018 – it started on my birthday, so she left Bangalore within 1 day of us meeting, last time.

I remember a lot of emotions: I didn’t understand why she had to go away for so long. I didn’t understand why she was starting this thing on my birthday – I felt like there was no need for her to. I also felt like it was unreasonable on me that she was doing this – walking out for 10 days and then walking back in as if she didn’t miss out on anything. These are horrible first reactions, I am well-aware. But she seemed super intent, and also super, duper worried about whether she’d last all 10 days. So I remember telling her before she left home that she needs to take one day at a time, and commend herself for each day that she manages. Especially because this was going to be such a new experience for her, I thought that was absolutely crucial.

A lot of things happened when she was away. My dad and I fought a few times. My grandfather passed away. It was a lot that was happening.

She came back from the entire Vipassana experience having really enjoyed it. Over the last year, several other members of my family, and several of my mothers friends have tried out the experience and enjoyed it. Now, initially she tried asking me to participate as well. I was very closed-minded. Ultimately, I decided that right now I didn’t feel interested enough in the concept, and maybe someday in the future, maybe that interest will grow naturally. It’s something I’d like to be open to later on. Just, not now. Not for me.

Anyway. All those reactions and emotions of her going away were a manifestation I think of the fact that I missed her presence. I’m not entirely sure. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that when she wasn’t there – a lot of other things happened, which are things that happened just as a result of the fact that she was doing her own thing. Something that was important to her.

Now, I feel like if she does these courses, I’ve learnt to just be happy that she’s doing her own thing. Which I think is a change that’s worth acknowledging.

Today, somebody told me they didn’t read any of the poems I put up on this blog, but they continued to read these daily posts. And I was super conflicted about how this made me feel. On one hand, I was really grateful that somebody was reading the posts. But on the other hand, I felt like they should be reading the poems too. After all, it takes some effort for me to write them. That’s when it hit me – that thinking that way was exactly the opposite of why I started writing in the first place. Whether somebody reads these thoughts of mine or not is something I’d like to remain indifferent to. The engagement is something I enjoy, in terms of having to understand criticism of my writing, or even heading some praise from time to time. However, whether someone is reading or not is not a metric I want to factor in while picking the subject-matter or the style of my writing.

I’d rather just write to improve my own standards of writing through continuous effort. To feel that flow of words come easily and feel satisfied at the end of it. I’d like to do that. It’s something that clearly needs a lot more work. I’m fairly confident I’ll get there one day though.

 

I used today to mostly catch up on my reading. Which is when I realized that I had taken a lot of reading projects up for this year. Managing them has gotten tricky, so having days where I can read without any disturbance, I think, is extremely important to me. It makes me realize that I am likely to use libraries, for example, even when I am much older. To escape from other things in my life and just spend an entire day reading.

More than anything, as a completionist, I look forward to finishing things. The rush I get out of finishing things – especially when I’ve enjoyed the process of it all, is a rush that I think is incomparable to much.

Reading today, and finishing the books I had left half-read also reminded me about how much I enjoyed these projects. It gave me time to reflect about what I was reading – and that time has been invaluable because I’ve managed to collect my thoughts and have been able to process the stuff that I’ve been assimilating.

There’s so much to learn out there.