As University’s gone by, I’ve begun to experience more days where I feel like doing absolutely nothing. Not in terms of work and the stuff I have ambitions for personally, but more in terms of anything that is University related. There are days where I don’t feel like attending meetings or contributing a lot to the environment that’s built around me. Now, a lot of what follows is premised on the assumption that on a given day, I’m contributing a little to my environment. And I know that makes it sound like I do a lot, but take it at it’s bare minimum: one interaction with someone who shares the same environment as you do still counts as contribution.
There are days where I really don’t feel up to it. On those days, I begin to question the worthiness of structures around me, in terms of Committee set ups, and things like that, and notice only the flaws in the structural mechanics of these. It’s quite disappointing – because I can see them, and I’m sure it’s not unique perspective, but more often than not, I realize that I’m not in a position to help correct any of those flaws. Or, worse, that those flaws have become so accepted, that any change will be resisted to the point where my attempts to change things will be unsuccessful.
The easy option is to quit.
But every time these thoughts come into my head, I think about all the seniors who’ve worked in these setups to get them to where they are. That’s when it hits me that if I make a small change, it’s likely to impact someone only 5 years from now, long after I’m away from University.
There’s absolutely no compulsion to contribute to the environment I live in. Except. I’ve inherited it from people, and someone will inherit it from me. The least I can do is to leave it in the same shape I got it. The best case scenario is that I make an improvement.