Category: 2019

Today, somebody told me they didn’t read any of the poems I put up on this blog, but they continued to read these daily posts. And I was super conflicted about how this made me feel. On one hand, I was really grateful that somebody was reading the posts. But on the other hand, I felt like they should be reading the poems too. After all, it takes some effort for me to write them. That’s when it hit me – that thinking that way was exactly the opposite of why I started writing in the first place. Whether somebody reads these thoughts of mine or not is something I’d like to remain indifferent to. The engagement is something I enjoy, in terms of having to understand criticism of my writing, or even heading some praise from time to time. However, whether someone is reading or not is not a metric I want to factor in while picking the subject-matter or the style of my writing.

I’d rather just write to improve my own standards of writing through continuous effort. To feel that flow of words come easily and feel satisfied at the end of it. I’d like to do that. It’s something that clearly needs a lot more work. I’m fairly confident I’ll get there one day though.

 

I used today to mostly catch up on my reading. Which is when I realized that I had taken a lot of reading projects up for this year. Managing them has gotten tricky, so having days where I can read without any disturbance, I think, is extremely important to me. It makes me realize that I am likely to use libraries, for example, even when I am much older. To escape from other things in my life and just spend an entire day reading.

More than anything, as a completionist, I look forward to finishing things. The rush I get out of finishing things – especially when I’ve enjoyed the process of it all, is a rush that I think is incomparable to much.

Reading today, and finishing the books I had left half-read also reminded me about how much I enjoyed these projects. It gave me time to reflect about what I was reading – and that time has been invaluable because I’ve managed to collect my thoughts and have been able to process the stuff that I’ve been assimilating.

There’s so much to learn out there.

The electricity was shut down on campus for some time this afternoon, which was challenging because it meant there was no fan for a while. When it’s the only cooling device in my room, not having it, and dealing with 42 degrees Celsius of heat, is not exactly the most pleasant thing in the universe.

I was sweating while lying on my bed. It was pretty icky.

Which is when I decided to pass time with a thought experiment. Considering the heat, I asked myself: would I like to have a fridge, or an air-conditioner in my room? Now, the first answer that comes to mind is the air-conditioner. However, I have a fondness for cool liquids which made this a particularly challenging decision to make.

Here’s what I struggled with: would I prefer a cool atmosphere, with regular temperature beverages, or a regular atmosphere with cool beverages? The fridge would also provide the opportunity to get a cool atmosphere/cool down my body temperature because I would have access to ice, and I would be able to open the freezer door and shove my face in it whenever I felt like.

This tilted the balance in favour of the fridge.

However, that’s when it occurred to me that if I had a cool atmosphere, beverages in the room would also be cooler than regular temperatures. Additionally, we already have a fridge in the hostel – which I don’t use for cooling my beverages, or shoving my face in.

Plus, an AC would mean that hot winds would never enter the room – because the windows would have to be shut.

In conclusion, I would pick the air-conditioner.

Today was my dad’s 50th Birthday.

I woke up to the news that my internship at the Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad, has come to a close – something I was rather saddened by, but also, an experience I’m going to cherish forever. I think over the last two months, this internship gave me everything I wanted out of it. I got to go off campus regularly, I got to visit an institution of higher learning that I had been meaning to visit for a very long time. I met a professor who guided me and trusted me with his research. Moreover, I learnt how to work in a library again – a skill I had lost after I realized our library was just an excuse to converse, and I was more productive while sitting in my own room.

This is great news for the summer because it means that I can go visit the library during the summer and actually get stuff done there – something I look forward to because it’ll mean that I get to sit in air conditioning.

Over the course of the day, I debated for the first time in a while – and chose to sleep a little bit more between 10PM and 12AM, a rare time for anpping, but one I thoroughly enjoyed. Which is why I’m awake at 3:30 writing these posts.

I’m excited for the weekend. It should be a fun, slow, one. And I’ll eat ice-cream again.

Also, another piece of news. A book I was working on for a very long time finally hit publication. I’m extremely, extremely happy and proud, but I’m hopeful that this is the first of many that students in our college put out. There are so many ideas that people here have – and so many worth exploring. This should just be the start.

Day Zero is over! So a massive congratulations to everybody who participated, for the day is now done. Please treat yourselves to some Maggi and milkshake because you deserve it for the amount of effort you put into the exercise.

Today I’m supposed to write a poem of origin.

Unpacking

When somebody asks the dreaded question,
“Where are you from?”,
My brain spirals,
And I am befuddled when people are able to give definite answers,
Like “Bengaluru”, or “Rangia”, or “Singapore”,
It amazes me that people can point to a location on the map and say
This is where I came from,
Ignoring all of the events that operated to get you to that particular area,
Stretching as far as the Big Bang,
And the evolution of human civilization.

But I spiral because I don’t have a definite answer.
I’ve lived ten years one place,
seven years another,
and now four years in another place.
So where am I really from?
What location best reflects who I am?
For me that answer is where I unpacked my suitcase last,
And decided I would call someplace home.

Ooh, iconic number, friend-log. It appears that I’ve been writing for one hundred days now. This also means that one hundred days of the year are over. Which is good news – we’re closer to 2020 & graduation.

Today, I’m going to write about something serious. Recruitments. I fully understand that I’m in a position of privilege writing this, so please feel free to discard everything I say. However, this is merely an exposition of my opinion and my perspective – which is something I’m going to retain irrespective of what you say. I also fully understand this might not apply to you, but if it does, and you can relate to it, I hope you feel marginally better after reading it.

Tomorrow is Day Zero on my campus.

Now if you’re not Indian, I feel like this is a very foreign concept to you. Day Zero or Zero Day refers to placement day on Indian campuses. It is the first day of the recruitment season at a particular University, where, selected firms/top firms and employers visit a particular campus and conduct various rounds to select individuals from that campus for the purposes of employment.

At my University, only law firms visit us on Day Zero. There are several candidates who are sitting for recruitment – slightly over half my batch. I write this for them.

I know it’s an extremely, extremely stressful process. The mere amount of preparation you have to do, coupled with the uncertainty of the outcome, and all the random bits of preparation – including what outfit to wear, and how to answer weird questions and tackle firm-specific questions. It’s a lot of stress. And a lot of pressure.

But here’s a couple of things I think are important to remember.

The first is that if you are shortlisted, you’ve been given an opportunity to engage with somebody else about a topic nobody knows better than you: yourself. They’re going to ask you, at some point, questions on a subject-matter where the knowledge skew is so much in your favour, that you will be able to string together words that make sense. Be confident.

The second, is that a lot of stress can be avoided by imagining everybody wearing funny underwear. I know this sounds ridiculous, but whenever I come across something I’m nervous about, or meet somebody I’m not sure how to gauge, I imagine them in bright red cactus boxers. Immediately, upon the realization that there is infact a possibility that they are actually wearing red cactus boxers, I am put to ease.

 Third, the worst part is the uncertainty – and waiting for decisions. At this point, please remind yourself that you have done everything you can, and not much else is in your control. It’s important not to blame yourself and keep thinking that you could have done better – that reflection is for another time. I’ll tell you why. Given that specific time, it’s impossible to have done things differently. Going down the path of “if only” is a dangerous prospect, especially when you’re waiting to hear back – because there is still the possibility that things might work out, and all the thinking will be futile.

If you get a job, fantastic. All your work has paid off, and the Universe has conspired to present you with an opportunity today.

If you do not get a job, please remember, not all is lost. All of your work has still paid off because you’ve gone through a process and now are likely to be more comfortable with it if you choose to continue to go through it. Moreover, you’ve learnt so many things through your preparation. Finally, if you have not got an opportunity today, it means that you’re meant to get an opportunity tomorrow, or day after.

That’s the thing about employment, or recruitment. I don’t think it’s possible to objectively say some offer is better than another offer. It’s so specific to a particular individual: practice areas, and cities, and everything.

However, if you were really gunning for one of the firms that came today, and you didn’t make it. I’d like to remind you that your career doesn’t finish on Day Zero. Try not to give your career a finish date before its even started. Every single place that came here today does lateral hiring. And if you envisage yourself at one of them – you can get there. There’s nothing to stop you. You will make it.

I know this got preachy, but I think it’s just stuff worth thinking about and reading at some point.

Good luck for tomorrow! Give it your best. Have fun with it. You’ve worked far too hard and far too long for this to be something you don’t look back on with some amount of joy.