Amorphous (Time)

This period of isolation is not excellent, but necessary. One of the consequences I’ve observed is that I wake up feeling like the day is only a continuation of the previous day – that it isn’t fresh or new, and that the 8 hours I’ve slept has passed by as if it’s just been a nap and nothing more. That’s helped me try to build a routine because I’m terrified that I won’t realize how much time is going by just like this, and I remind myself each morning when I bathe that I’m stepping into a fresh day, which will bring a new set of challenges with it, things I’ll have to tackle on my own.

I think yesterday and today showed me that I could definitely have some variation in my life despite the times. Yesterday, right on cue, because it rained, this city was beautiful. I spent a large part of the evening thinking about how long it had been since I had seen a summer rain here – and it’s definitely been more than 5 years, because I’ve not been here in March since 2015. For sure. The rain is not something I enjoy at all, but it brings back memories of what my days used to be like as a child studying for boards or pre-boards when these sudden rains hit us – and I love that feeling, because I’m sitting in the same chair, with a similar orientation, just studying different things now. Some things don’t change though, and right on cue, just as the rain began, my terrace clogged up – which meant stepping out and cleaning that in the rain, which is always enjoyable. I actually didn’t mind that so much – but it definitely drove home the fact that I would remember 20 March 2020 as yet another day that I cleaned my terrace.

Today, though, I fought off ants. Which is not an amusing story and is still something I’m disgruntled by, so I shall save it for another time.

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