Hello there, fellow beings of the internet. It has been an eternity since I last graced your screens with my words, and it feels like I’ve been trying to launch a rocket to Mars using a slingshot made of spaghetti. You see, for the past five months, I’ve been in what you might call a “forced sabbatical” from the world of writing. But today, armed with my quill (read: keyboard) and a cup of tea, I’m here to regale you on a journey through the epic saga of my battle with the infamous Instant Gratification Monkey. This may be the shortest epic you read.
In the immortal words of the master procrastinator himself, Mark Twain, “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” Well, Mr. Twain, I’ve taken your advice to heart, and here I am, not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, but somewhere in the foggy realm of the indefinite future, finally putting fingers to keyboard. I am almost positive that you have heard this story before. I am certain I have told you this story before. Anybody crunching the numbers on my blog posts would find that at least three posts each annual year devote themselves to the creative struggle of procrastination, and how I feel limited by what remains in my head, unspilt out onto the page. Despite my desire not to start a new habit by etching over these fault lines once more, I find that honing in on my procrastination is a great place to begin once over. It is but acceptance that allows us to truly master our own fates.
Picture this: I’ve been on a quest to start writing, and it’s been as successful as trying to teach a penguin to breakdance or, even better, trying to teach a brick wall to recite Shakespearean sonnets. It’s not that I’ve forgotten how to write; it’s just that I’ve somehow become the commander of the S.S. Procrastination, cruising through the sea of distractions in the most comfortable pyjamas. As I sit here, staring at my blank screen, I can’t help but channel the wisdom of Abraham Lincoln, who once said, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”
Well, Abe, my buddy, I’ve spent the last five months meticulously sharpening my axe, but now, it’s time to take a mighty swing at the vast forest of unwritten words.
The tension, my digital compadres, is thicker than the plot of a mystery novel. It’s like trying to ride a unicycle while juggling flaming bowling balls and singing operatic arias. I want to write, sure, but I also want to write a book. I want to craft a blog post, yes, but I also want to craft witty social media updates! Alas, the baggage of ambition! And then there’s the matter of measuring success. Ernest Hemingway famously declared, “There is no friend as loyal as a book.” I aspire to that loyalty, and I have previously declared I write for no one but myself. Sometimes, however, I catch myself wondering, what if my book only has a few readers? What if my blog post gets lost in the vast ocean of the internet, like a message in a bottle tossed into the sea? Alas, the baggage of self-doubt!
Both unfashionable travel companions if you ask me. I spoke to my mother recently about how perhaps ambition was my hamartia, not the white lies or anything else. Perhaps, I said to her, it is my ambition that makes me procrastinate, because I know what I do now will not live up to what I wish it to be, or make it out to be in my head. This blog post is clearly not the book I want to write, and maybe I’m holding onto an image of what I once thought within the realms of possibility. As all mothers are, she was dismissive of my doubts and misgivings, suggesting I pivot quickly to labelling my ambition with passion. In casting my mind’s eye back to my carefree, creative childhood, where everything was allowed (within reason), she reminded me I’ve been passionate through my life. About different things, but passion has been a constant. Suddenly everything made sense again.
The arbitrary yardsticks I see myself setting emerge out of wanting to seem ambitious, not merely passionate. Why write a book, why not retain command over the blogosphere, this most democratic space?
As I type these closing words, I can’t help but recall the timeless words of William Shakespeare: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” Well, dear reader, it’s time for my encore performance. Let the words flow, let the laughter ring, and let the writing begin anew! And you know what? I’ve realized that reading and writing, like a pair of old friends, have been waiting patiently for me to reunite with them. So, here’s to the resumption of both reading and writing, for they are the twin stars that guide my literary voyage, and together, we shall set sail on this grand adventure once more.
Tejas Rao 