Month: October 2019

I’m flying out to Delhi tomorrow immediately after class. All I can think about right now is the fact that I’ll get some time off-campus, which I think will do me some good. I’m also very excited and very eager for the new experience I’ve got lined up on Sunday, and all the things I will get to learn through that.

My confidence is taking a hit though. I’m just very grateful that there are some people from school who are willing to help me mend that. All of them recognize I made a mistake – but they’re people who want me to be better. And they’ve helped tons. One day I hope to pay it forward.

In this preparation for Delhi I’ve spent a lot of time reading things I love. Its reminded me of debating preparation back in second and third year, when I used to spend a lot of time reading from a debating perspective. I’m fortunate to have that background, but it’s also reminding me and reaffirming my love for learning and reading. I know its the one of the only ways I love pushing myself to grow – and I will always commit to that. I miss reading when I don’t do it as intensely. Maybe it’s important to do it consistently well again. Not just the fiction and the non-fiction, that is.

[I was waiting on some news before I got around to posting. Got that news today, so all posts will now flood your notifications. Apologies in advance, but you must be used to this. I also know this is an extremely odd hour in India. I haven’t been getting sleep – so the blog is where I will seek refuge.]

It’s always important, I think, to identify who can help you when you’re on the mend, and when you’re in a rough place. You can’t necessarily continuously feel bad or feel sorry for yourself – you need to be in a position where you take everything you learn and you move forward. There’s bound to be frustration, guilt, hurt – all of those things. Just because people don’t acknowledge that, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. The bigger question is: what do you become, and who are you at the core of everything? And who is the person you want to be?

The faster you’re able to accept there is a gap between these, the quicker you’ll be in a position to hold your hands up and hold yourself accountable. A large part of this stems from the truth, and just what the truth is and what it means. Sometimes it hurts, but its still the truth.

Just acknowledge that. And be patient.